“I Lived” by OneRepublic came blaring through my headphones as I was sitting on the “A” train on my way to work this morning. I’ve heard this song a million times before, but today it was different. This morning I actually listened to what the song was saying, instead of just bopping my head to the music. Today, I remembered just how much I lived this past year.
 

2014 was very good to me. I remember going into it not knowing what to expect, just feeling real nonchalant about my life. That should have been my very first clue that last year was about to surprise the heck out of me; that 2014 was about to change me for the better.

I fell in love last year. Unconditional, unrestricted, over-the-moon-type love. The kind of love that makes you question what your perception of love was before. The type of love that makes you feel full, even when you haven’t eaten all day. I think I lost count of how many nights I didn’t sleep because I couldn’t get my heart to slow down or keep my brain from thinking about my beloved.  Unfortunately, like a lot of love stories, mine was short-lived. Some loves just aren’t built to stand the test of time (or a very demanding Dominican woman.) Alas, I’m not sad it ended, if anything I’m happy it happened. I’m glad that for the very first time in years I remembered what it felt like to love someone other than myself. For a moment in time, I felt that consuming, bittersweet tango between lovers that I never thought I’d ever feel again.
 

2014 also taught me that it was ok to outgrow people. People you loved (or you may still love), people you counted on, people who were once an intricate part of your life; it’s perfectly fine to let them go. We are meant to evolve, to grow and sometimes people in our lives keep us from being who we’re meant to be. This isn’t to say that they do it on purpose; a lot of people can’t see they’re holding you back from greatness. The problem is that these people already love you so much; that they could never imagine you being anything different than what you already are. I’ve learned to keep these people in my heart, but not in my life.

So I vowed to myself that 2015 would be different. I promised myself I would travel because no one has ever discovered the world just through the world-wide web. I’m making a conscious decision to take risks because I’m worth it. And I’m going to start loving again, because I’ve realized that it IS better to love and lose, than to not love at all.

This year, again, I will live.

-Ori