Ori’s Brand New Story!

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In a matter of two short weeks my life will change drastically. No, I’m not going to have a baby. No, I’m not undergoing some type of surgical procedure; honestly I’m not doing anything super adventurous: I’m just quitting my job.

Quitting your job doesn’t sound too daring to many of you, I know. But to me it’s an enormous (and scary step) in my life, especially for an overachieving-self-righteous-do-the-right-thing gal like myself. See, I’ve noticed that in 25 (and a half) years of life, I’ve never taken a chance on MYSELF. It’s like I was put on this earth to purposely help others achieve their dreams all while differing my own. Well no more! 

What shall I be doing exactly, you ask? Besides having an actual new job lined up (I may be chasing my dreams but I still have bills to pay) what I’ll really be pursuing is my love of movies and writing. Cliché right? Like Hollywood needs another struggling writer/actor/waiter combo? It’s very risky, but it’s always been my dream and there’s no better time than the present to put Carpe Diem into full effect.

Now, I’m no fool (I’m sure others would beg to differ however); I’ve recruited some of the best talent I know to share in my dream.  I’ve recently come up with a movie concept and while I may be a rookie in this field, Comedienne Jesenia, a NYC based writer/actor and a veteran in the industry (check out her IMDB page http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2120129/) has been gracious enough to be my fairy Godmother through this journey. Add in a bit of up-and-coming writer/actor Jenni Ruiza’s talents, and things are sure to be explosive.

Mark Twain once said: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

I’m finally setting sail, and I can only hope you’ll join me on this new adventure.

– Orisel

We All Look the Same in Here

During my lunch hour I went to H&M to see if there was anything to tickle my fancy there. As I’m waiting to pay on line, a mother and her daughter (both White) are on line in front of me. The little girl was holding a baby doll that was Black. The cashier, making small talk with the little girl, asks pointing at the doll “and who’s this little person?” The little girl, around age 4 or 5, responds “that’s my baby”. The cashier then says “well you and your baby are beautiful but you two look so different?” And the little girl responds “but mommy says that we look just the same in here” *she points to her heart*

Needless to say this put a smile on the face of everyone who heard her answer, including me. Kudos to you little girl for reminding us what’s truly important and kudos to your mom for teaching you such a wonderful value. Sometimes the biggest lessons come from the smallest people.

Take the lesson and pass it forward. Have a great weekend everyone.

– Orisel

Ori….Without a Story

Hey everyone! I know what you’re thinking…”And where the HELL have you been?!” I know! I know! I’ve been out of commission the last few weeks (adulthood has seemingly caught up to me) but don’t worry, I’m still alive and havent lost my mind (I think).

I promise you that next week the ball will start rolling on “Ori With a Story” again and you will see what I have been working on for you guys.

Make sure you check back on Monday!

– Orisel

Fee Fi Faux Friend

Friendship is one of the fundamental principles we learn as children. Our cousins/siblings are our first set of friends or we meet a friend in pre-school, maybe a next door neighbor. As adults we learn to value our friendships even more (it is very necessary to have a loving friend take your phone away from you before you start drunk texting). Our perception of friendship slowly changes as we get older and we begin to realize that what we once considered worthy behavior has lost its luster and friends whose company we once enjoyed now have become the bane of our existence. Before you start telling yourself that you do not have people like this in your life, think twice. You do have a friend like this; WE ALL DO.

Are you still in denial questioning whether or not you have an individual like this in your life? Well then, how about this? I’ll give you various characteristics a person I am talking about might exhibit and you can decide for yourself:

1) Have you ever had a friend who was angry/upset/disgusted at someone and bad-mouthed that person repeatedly YET one day, out of the blue became best friends with the very same person that they trash-talked for so long?
YES □ NO □

2) Have you ever had a friend who one day encourages you to engage in a certain type of behavior, but the moment they are mad or upset with you they chastise the VERY SAME behavior they once applauded you for?
YES □ NO □

3) Have you ever had a friend who vigorously advocates that you break up with the person you’re with or is always insulting your partner YET that very same friend is entangled in a crappy relationship of their own with some loser unfortunate soul who they’ve threatened to leave for the 17th time yet keep going back to?
YES □ NO □

If you have answered “yes” to any of the above, CONGRATULATIONS, you are a lucky winner!!

Now don’t get me wrong, just because you may have a friend who possesses the traits I have mentioned above, doesn’t mean they are a bad friend or a bad person. It just means that you should be much more careful about the information you disclose to them or how you behave around them. Unfortunately, this may ultimately lead you to remove your friend from your life indefinitely, regardless of how much it may hurt you.

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves and we often look at them for guidance and support, but we must also understand that sometimes our friends’ hearts aren’t in the right place nor do our friends always have our best interests in mind. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it is that as much as we value our friends’ opinions about our love lives, jobs, families, and lives in general, sometimes we just have to block them out and follow our instincts. Why? Because no matter how much you love your friend or respect their opinion at the time that it is given, you can never be absolutely sure as to where they’re really coming from or what the state of your friendship will be tomorrow. Value what your friends have to say but still do what is best for you.

What type of friend are YOU?

– Orisel

Medal of Honor

People tell me all of the time how mature I am for my age. Here’s the thing: it’s not so much that I’m mature for my age, I’m just really screwed up for someone my age. Ok maybe “screwed up” isn’t the right term to use; “jaded” would be the more appropriate term. It’s funny because the older I get, the more being jaded comes in handy. Life is tough and you don’t always have someone there to tell you that things will be ok. Being cynical has simply become my defense mechanism. My job: stressful. My career: uncertain. My love life: non-existent. So how do I remain seemingly unscathed and optimistic all of the time? Simple:

    I’ve learned to pick and choose my battles.

Anger is such an easy emotion to breed. It’s one part “discomfort”, two parts “annoyance”, and one part “resentment”. Add in a touch of “instigating friend” and you have the concoction from Hell. People are never rational in the midst of their rage and most of us know this, so I always find it perplexing how a happy person will allow one irritated person to bring them down. Now, I know what I’m talking about because I’ve been that angry, absolutely ridiculous, irrational person many times (just ask my ex-boyfriends), however I also know that at the end of one of my battles one of two things usually happens: 1) I either feel too depleted from arguing to get to enjoy my “victory” or 2) I’ve argued for so long that I can’t even remember what I was arguing about. Pathetic, isn’t it?

So why is it that we don’t learn to let go of petty arguments and unimportant squabbles before things get out of hand? Why are most of us ready, willing and able to put on our armor and go to war over the most insignificant of battles? Why is it that we never notice who we’re hurting until it’s too late? If you’re waiting for me to give you the answers to those questions, you’re sh*t out of luck. I’ve just recently started analyzing myself, you expect me to have the rest of mankind figured out?

Nevertheless, I will tell you this: change begins with you. If you’re tired of arguing, stop. If you’re tired of hurting, stop. If you’re exhausted of being the only person who returns from battle injured, then STOP. People don’t get awarded a Medal of Honor just because they went to war; they are bestowed that honor because they had the valor to survive. Yes, if I know I’m right there’s no changing my mind and believe me, I’m not backing down for anyone. But I also know I’m not above apologizing. I know when I’m wrong and I know when to say “I’m sorry”. I refuse to let my ego allow me to lose someone I love. I don’t have to win every battle, I have enough scars. I choose being happy over winning. After all, war doesn’t determine who’s right; it merely determines who’s left.

Are you ready to put down your armor?

– Orisel

The Ghost of You

I live with a ghost. He doesn’t look like the ghosts in the movies, he doesn’t leave cryptic messages around the house; I’m not even scared of him. But I know he’s there. He’s always there. He’s there as I watch TV late at night, he’s there when I get on the “A” train in the morning, and he’s even there as I’m sitting at my desk at work. How do I know I live with a ghost that I can’t really see you ask? Easy, because I carry him in my heart.

I’m sure you live with a ghost too. Yes, you reading this. Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it. Have you ever missed someone? No, like really missed them. You know the type of missing that when you think of that person you still get butterflies in your stomach? The type of missing that even years after you last saw them you still remember the exact words said in your final conversation? The type of missing that makes you realize that they took a part of you you may never get back? If you can relate to any of the above, then you too are living with a ghost.

When I mention a phantasm I don’t necessarily speak of the memory of a significant other either. Maybe your ghost resembles your grandmother whom you so dearly miss, maybe it’s your friend whom you lost too soon or maybe your ghost is only one call away, but you’ve never built the courage to pick up the phone and dial their number. See, that’s the thing about phantoms, they don’t always visit us when they’re gone, often times it’s when they’re alive that they haunt us the most. The ugly sweater they gave you for the holidays, the stuffed animal you still have on top of your bed, the scent of someone wearing their cologne on the street….all reasons we hold on to the retentive memory of someone.

If there is one thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older it’s that regardless of how good or bad the times you shared with someone were, our memories are what keep us living. Sometimes we get so caught up in meaningless arguments and in such petty emotion that we end up killing people in our lives before their time. Our inability to forgive, our ego’s incapacity to say ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I miss you’ are the things that hinder us the most. We are the creators of the ghosts that haunt us.

So how do you get rid of your ghost? I’m sorry, I don’t have the answer. I will tell you this however, every time your ghost appears, quit running away. If they keep coming back, it’s because they made a difference in your life. Embrace the fact that whether the difference was a positive one or a negative one, you are now a better person for it. If you spend that much time thinking about someone, make your memories happy ones, make them worth remembering. Remember, at the end of the day memories are all we get to take with us.

Ever wonder whose ghost YOU are?

– Orisel

Sex Therapy

I’ll be the first to admit it: I think about sex wayyyyy too much. I probably think about it more than any man does or should. How much is too much you ask? Let me give you a chronological time line of my day; it goes a little like this: breakfast, sex, work, sex, lunch, sex, snack, sex, afternoon commute, sex, dinner….I’m sure you get the point now. No, it’s not because I’m some uncontrollable hornball. No, it’s not because my phone is blowing up with a plethora of men trying to “take me down” (although that does happen often) and no, its most definitely NOT because I’m some type of weird narcissist who’s looking for physical attention….I think about sex so often because I’m not having any. Yup, I said it! I’m not ashamed to say it and I could care less what you have to say about it.

The decision to not be intimate with someone is a personal one, not one imposed on me by others. Let me explain: as long as I can remember I’ve always been in a relationship. Healthy ones, toxic ones, crappy ones; happy ones….but the one relationship I’ve never bothered to devote any time to is the one I’ve had with myself. I’m not embarrassed to say that like many women I’ve spent so much of my young adult life trying to make the significant other in my life feel gratified, that I made excuses as to why I was so unfulfilled. Worse yet, I convinced myself that it was “normal” to feel so unhappy.

Now don’t get me wrong, nothing against my former partners, they are all wonderful people who I learned to love as individuals as well as love interests regardless of our differences, I’ve just now come to the horrible realization that I never learned to give myself the same courtesy. It’s the same scenario every time: boy meets girl, boy chases girl, boy gets girl and then girl fades into some weird oblivion that she never comes out of. Nowhere in there did I mention girl setting boundaries for herself or girl remembering not to give everything to boy in the first 6 months huh?

The hardest part about being alone for the very first time in my life is that I didn’t know HOW to be alone. When you’re so used to always having a better half (or in many cases a worse one) by your side, you tend to forget that you still need to remain enamored with yourself. I, by all means am NO guru when it comes to love, but if you’ve been through the type of pain I’ve been through in the past few months, with very few people around you who truly understand, one day you wake up realizing that survival and healing are the only real options you have.

This brings me back to sex (because I’m sure that’s what you REALLY want to continue reading about). In case you’re wondering: yes, I miss the kissing and touching. Yes, I miss the “morning surprises” *wink* and yes, I miss the passionate moments random strangers couples share in the privacy of their bedroom. I’m human. Of course I miss those things! Sex is great, but what I miss most by far is the intimacy that comes with it. The hugs, the kisses, someone to always hold my hand. I miss somebody always being available to go out to dinners and outings. I miss lazy Saturday nights lying in bed watching crappy episodes of Jersey Shore with a beer in my hand. Most of all, I miss the comfort of having the built-in friend that comes with the luxury of having a better half. I miss everything mentioned above BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF LOSING MYSELF…AGAIN and most definitely NOT at the price of my sanity and/or happiness.

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person out there reading this right now who feels this way either, I’m probably just one of the few who will admit it. However, as hard as the road has been (believe me, I have scars to prove it), I’m thankful that I’ve been to hell and back in a hand basket. I’ve learned so much about myself and I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin. When the time is right, whatever or whoever is meant for me will come into my life and then I’ll be ready. Until then, the only person I’ll continue to learn how to love is myself, after all it did take me 25 years to get here. In the famous words of Carrie Bradshaw “If you can find someone to love the you YOU love, well, then that’s just Fabulous!”

Until next time, my name is Ori and that’s my story.

Just for kicks:

Pop Quiz: It’s time for work…..guess what I’m thinking about? =D

– Orisel

A Latina Queen of Comedy

BOOM! That’s the only sound you are going to hear when Jesenia Bailey kicks in the door next year. Don’t know who Jesenia Bailey is? You will soon! The Puerto Rican quadruple threat (she is a comedienne, actress, producer and writer extraordinaire) is currently one of the key players in the Latina comedy scene.

Born and raised in New York City, this self-proclaimed “people pleaser” attended 10 different schools growing up. While constantly changing schools would be quite the difficult adjustment for many of us, Jesenia considered it a blessing in disguise: “Going to a new school allowed me to reinvent myself. If I knew something didn’t work well at the last school, I knew not to do it again at the new one. It truly made me a people person.”

Reinvention is a principle Jesenia has applied to all of her endeavors as an adult as well. As the creator of the sketch comedy show “Ay Que Funny!”, a title inspired by the words her grandmother used to say right after she laughed, Jesenia has years of experience under her belt when it comes to directing, writing and acting in an off-Broadway production. “Ay! Que Funny to me was a discovery of who I am in comedy. I didn’t know how to write sketches or put up shows, but I learned because I love what I do.” When asked to describe the show in three words, Jesenia very quickly responded: “Fresh, Funny and Fearless!”.

While “Ay! Que Funny” recently ended its off-Broadway run, don’t think this is the last you will be hearing about it. Jesenia exclusively told me that she is in the process of turning the sketch comedy show into a pilot and will soon start casting and filming in hopes of shopping her original idea to a major TV network. She is also working on another pilot presently entitled “Becoming Ricardo” and is currently hosting acting workshops with her husband, director Damian Bailey.

I asked Jesenia what words of wisdom or advice she could offer anyone looking to get into the entertainment industry, whether it was as an actor, writer or director. She thought for a few moments and flawlessly responded: “Don’t give up and be persistent. If you’re going to do it, whatever “it” may be, be wonderful. And most importantly, don’t forget: BE YOU. BE AMAZING”.

2012 is most definitely her year. When you see her name up in lights, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

– Orisel

For more information on the incredible Jesenia Bailey, I encourage you to check out her website at: www.jeseniabailey.com and make sure to check out her IMDB page at www.imdb.me/jeseniabailey

Looking for a laugh? Check out Jesenia’s new comedy video “La Cucaracha” feat. Pitbull and Lady Gaga
La Cucaracha Feat. Pitbull and Lady Gaga

Ori’s Story: Work in Progress

One word can accurately describe my life at the moment: MESS. I’m a mess at work, I’m a mess in my love life, my home is a mess and Lord knows how many other messes I’ve gotten into on a daily basis that I haven’t even noticed. At least I’m honest about it. It’s like the old saying goes: “When it rains, it pours”, well in my life “when it rains, it hurricanes”. But there is a silver lining to my tedious tale and here it is….I just don’t give a sh*t anymore. Simple huh? Well this is the thing; deep down I really do care, but as a New Yorker, I’m not going to let you know that.

See, that’s the beautiful thing about living in the Big Apple, regardless of how crappy or stressful or even amazing your life is, everyone is too busy to really notice. It’s like getting a “Get-out-of-jail-free-card” everyday. As a native New Yorker, I was born with thick skin (how else do you explain being a lifelong Knicks fans without slitting my wrists?) I walk fast, I talk fast, I think fast and at any given time I’m multi-tasking 8 different things at once. May sound crazy, but it’s the only sane way to live in these parts. If you’re not paving your own path, you’re probably getting left behind in someone else’s.

Just how upside-down is my life you ask? Just this week alone I’ve fought a guy who tried to steal my cab on 5th Avenue, argued with the lady behind the counter a Dunkin Donuts for messing up my breakfast order and listened to my boss compare a paper clip to Hitler in our office. And all this was JUST before 9:30am on Monday morning! Not to mention if one more tourist stops in front of me to take a picture of a tree in the middle of Times Square, not even the Christmas Spirit will save them. My week gradually declined from there. Working at a Law Firm and dealing with tons of clients on a daily basis only adds up to the insurmountable amount of stress.

But there’s hope for me after all. After 3 rum & cokes I’ve finally found clarity. The solution to all of my wreckage is simple: I’ll keep my eye on the prize, my vision in focus, put that thick New York skin on and if all else fails, I’m sure that I’ll find comfort in one of the 20,000+ bars my city has to offer. If there’s anything that my wacky life has taught me lately is that everything passes and things only get better; you just have to give it some time. For that I’m grateful. Besides, what do I really have to fear? I’m a New Yorker, I’m built to last.

– Orisel