Monday.
Difficult for many; but a brand new beginning for others. For me however, it just feels like my life is in slow motion. As if my thoughts were still buffering.
And then I realize that there is just not enough coffee in the world to make me function correctly.
On the other hand, I’m just grateful to be alive so I really shouldn’t complain.
But truthfully, I just want to take Bruno Mars’ advice and not do a damn thing.
Here’s to coffee, buffering and surviving Mondays!
-Ori
Friendship is one of the fundamental principles we learn as children. Our cousins/siblings are our first set of friends or we meet a friend in pre-school, maybe a next door neighbor. As adults we learn to value our friendships even more (it is very necessary to have a loving friend take your phone away from you before you start drunk texting). Our perception of friendship slowly changes as we get older and we begin to realize that what we once considered worthy behavior has lost its luster and friends whose company we once enjoyed now have become the bane of our existence. Before you start telling yourself that you do not have people like this in your life, think twice. You do have a friend like this; WE ALL DO.
Are you still in denial questioning whether or not you have an individual like this in your life? Well then, how about this? I’ll give you various characteristics a person I am talking about might exhibit and you can decide for yourself:
1) Have you ever had a friend who was angry/upset/disgusted at someone and bad-mouthed that person repeatedly YET one day, out of the blue became best friends with the very same person that they trash-talked for so long?
YES □ NO □
2) Have you ever had a friend who one day encourages you to engage in a certain type of behavior, but the moment they are mad or upset with you they chastise the VERY SAME behavior they once applauded you for?
YES □ NO □
3) Have you ever had a friend who vigorously advocates that you break up with the person you’re with or is always insulting your partner YET that very same friend is entangled in a crappy relationship of their own with some loser unfortunate soul who they’ve threatened to leave for the 17th time yet keep going back to?
YES □ NO □
If you have answered “yes” to any of the above, CONGRATULATIONS, you are a lucky winner!!
Now don’t get me wrong, just because you may have a friend who possesses the traits I have mentioned above, doesn’t mean they are a bad friend or a bad person. It just means that you should be much more careful about the information you disclose to them or how you behave around them. Unfortunately, this may ultimately lead you to remove your friend from your life indefinitely, regardless of how much it may hurt you.
Friends are the family we choose for ourselves and we often look at them for guidance and support, but we must also understand that sometimes our friends’ hearts aren’t in the right place nor do our friends always have our best interests in mind. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it is that as much as we value our friends’ opinions about our love lives, jobs, families, and lives in general, sometimes we just have to block them out and follow our instincts. Why? Because no matter how much you love your friend or respect their opinion at the time that it is given, you can never be absolutely sure as to where they’re really coming from or what the state of your friendship will be tomorrow. Value what your friends have to say but still do what is best for you.
What type of friend are YOU?
– Orisel
I live with a ghost. He doesn’t look like the ghosts in the movies, he doesn’t leave cryptic messages around the house; I’m not even scared of him. But I know he’s there. He’s always there. He’s there as I watch TV late at night, he’s there when I get on the “A” train in the morning, and he’s even there as I’m sitting at my desk at work. How do I know I live with a ghost that I can’t really see you ask? Easy, because I carry him in my heart.
I’m sure you live with a ghost too. Yes, you reading this. Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it. Have you ever missed someone? No, like really missed them. You know the type of missing that when you think of that person you still get butterflies in your stomach? The type of missing that even years after you last saw them you still remember the exact words said in your final conversation? The type of missing that makes you realize that they took a part of you you may never get back? If you can relate to any of the above, then you too are living with a ghost.
When I mention a phantasm I don’t necessarily speak of the memory of a significant other either. Maybe your ghost resembles your grandmother whom you so dearly miss, maybe it’s your friend whom you lost too soon or maybe your ghost is only one call away, but you’ve never built the courage to pick up the phone and dial their number. See, that’s the thing about phantoms, they don’t always visit us when they’re gone, often times it’s when they’re alive that they haunt us the most. The ugly sweater they gave you for the holidays, the stuffed animal you still have on top of your bed, the scent of someone wearing their cologne on the street….all reasons we hold on to the retentive memory of someone.
If there is one thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older it’s that regardless of how good or bad the times you shared with someone were, our memories are what keep us living. Sometimes we get so caught up in meaningless arguments and in such petty emotion that we end up killing people in our lives before their time. Our inability to forgive, our ego’s incapacity to say ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I miss you’ are the things that hinder us the most. We are the creators of the ghosts that haunt us.
So how do you get rid of your ghost? I’m sorry, I don’t have the answer. I will tell you this however, every time your ghost appears, quit running away. If they keep coming back, it’s because they made a difference in your life. Embrace the fact that whether the difference was a positive one or a negative one, you are now a better person for it. If you spend that much time thinking about someone, make your memories happy ones, make them worth remembering. Remember, at the end of the day memories are all we get to take with us.
Ever wonder whose ghost YOU are?
– Orisel
OriWithAStory 