People tell me all of the time how mature I am for my age. Here’s the thing: it’s not so much that I’m mature for my age, I’m just really screwed up for someone my age. Ok maybe “screwed up” isn’t the right term to use; “jaded” would be the more appropriate term. It’s funny because the older I get, the more being jaded comes in handy. Life is tough and you don’t always have someone there to tell you that things will be ok. Being cynical has simply become my defense mechanism. My job: stressful. My career: uncertain. My love life: non-existent. So how do I remain seemingly unscathed and optimistic all of the time? Simple:

I’ve learned to pick and choose my battles.

Anger is such an easy emotion to breed. It’s one part “discomfort”, two parts “annoyance”, and one part “resentment”. Add in a touch of “instigating friend” and you have the concoction from Hell. People are never rational in the midst of their rage and most of us know this, so I always find it perplexing how a happy person will allow one irritated person to bring them down. Now, I know what I’m talking about because I’ve been that angry, absolutely ridiculous, irrational person many times (just ask my ex-boyfriends), however I also know that at the end of one of my battles one of two things usually happens: 1) I either feel too depleted from arguing to get to enjoy my “victory” or 2) I’ve argued for so long that I can’t even remember what I was arguing about. Pathetic, isn’t it?

So why is it that we don’t learn to let go of petty arguments and unimportant squabbles before things get out of hand? Why are most of us ready, willing and able to put on our armor and go to war over the most insignificant of battles? Why is it that we never notice who we’re hurting until it’s too late? If you’re waiting for me to give you the answers to those questions, you’re sh*t out of luck. I’ve just recently started analyzing myself, you expect me to have the rest of mankind figured out?

Nevertheless, I will tell you this: change begins with you. If you’re tired of arguing, stop. If you’re tired of hurting, stop. If you’re exhausted of being the only person who returns from battle injured, then STOP. People don’t get awarded a Medal of Honor just because they went to war; they are bestowed that honor because they had the valor to survive. Yes, if I know I’m right there’s no changing my mind and believe me, I’m not backing down for anyone. But I also know I’m not above apologizing. I know when I’m wrong and I know when to say “I’m sorry”. I refuse to let my ego allow me to lose someone I love. I don’t have to win every battle, I have enough scars. I choose being happy over winning. After all, war doesn’t determine who’s right; it merely determines who’s left.

Are you ready to put down your armor?

– Orisel